I'm going to say this as nice as I can. There are a lot of pathetic people in my dorm. There are also a lot of cool people. No one likes to read nice things, therefore this will NOT be a nice essay, in fact it will be really mean, I'm not going to mention names, O.K I will.

Let me send some shout outs to my niggaz from home first. Scott, Sean, You guys are two of my best friends, and you are not included in the inability to score. But I will talk generally about why people in my dorm have a general inability to. First Off, a lot of them are bad dressers, I dont need to mention names, but one guy, let's call him, "Chad" thinks that because he buys all of his clothes from 'Structure', he is a nice dresser. WRONG. I spoke about this in the pimp article. It's not who you buy, it's what you buy. If 'Structure' makes ladies panties for men, and you wear them, you dont look nice. I don't care WHO you are. You can't just buy name brand things and think that the brand name is going to take you that far guys. Second Off, you guys do NOT know how to have fun. For example, on May 17th, I came downstairs. It's Friday night, and what are you guys doing? You're not out partying (SCSU has a LOT of parties), you're inside, sitting with a large group of guys, watching striptease. Yes folks, striptease. This was really sad, and I actually would have been sad, had someone not said "In or Out" when I poked my head in to see who the group of playas watching the pseudo-porn were. That really pissed me off. But this is an article on them, not me. If you guys are EVER going to score, you need to get out of the dorm. Third Off, someone might be reading this and be saying "Matt, you sex fiend, there is more to life than scoring!". People, I know that, but when you NEVER score, all year, and most probably not in your life, there's no time like the present to get out and get some. My lovely girlfriend and I score often enough, that I can take periods of time off, John Coos doesn't have that luxury. Homeboy needs a woman now.

That's what I have for now, this essay will most probably be taken down when I get some more thought provoking articles up.